I waa spending a relaxing afternoon kicking around MITERS, with vague ambitions of making an electric wheelchair radio-controlled, when Merch started building a tall bike. Suddenly inspired, I grabbed an old bike frame, a hacksaw, and MIG welder and got started.

Some kind soul had already extended the front fork for a chopper. I pulled off the front and back derailleurs and put on a wheel with a coaster brake on the back, for a pretty, no-cable look. Miraculously, the coaster brake gear matched the chain that was already on the bike, so I didn't have to switch out the front gears, I just put the chain on the fastest gearing and popped it around until it was the right length. After that, I just threw on an old front wheel, and it was ready to ride. Aren't coaster brakes amazing?

A quick trip to the neighborhood thrift store was in order. For a grand total of $6.72, I had everything I needed to create the Dinner Bike. Out came the angle grinder and welder, and on went forks, spoons, knives, a holder for a pewter platter, a wire wineglass holder, and a corkscrew. With a little bending, the water bottle holder was able to accomodate a bottle of Fat Bastard champagne, the classiest the liquor stores have to offer. A loop of wire around the old front brake mounts did an admirable job of holding up a bowl(although the bowl has the highest shatter-rate of any part. EIT!). A set of fine wooden salt and pepper shakers make wonderful handlebar extensions, and some old inner tubes out of Cambridge Bicycle's dumpster do a good job of holding them on. And finally, Voila! A little gold-and-pink spray paint job, and the bike was done, complete with everything you need for an elegant dinner on the road.